A New Age for Women's Identity

   Recently, I have seen and heard things that give me hope for the next generation. Young people who are not letting society define them and taking charge of their own identity. It is everything I hoped for as I looked on to the next generation. To have more license to define themselves and explore who they are from an earlier age without as much of the judgement of society. Brave young people who confidently announce who they are and take what ugliness that brings them, but never losing their truth. It is a new day for the human race. What is most important to me is what this means for little girls. What this means for queer children.

   I did not grow up in a world like this. My generation has come a long way. My generation was inundated with stereotypes and double standards and unrealistic expectations. When I stopped moving  and really noticed these stereotypes for the first time, I went to middle school and high school in Southwest Virginia. It was a new world for me and everything was glaringly apparent. This city made me ask a lot of questions that I had never thought of before. Why was it weird that I liked playing sports even though I was not on a team? Why did it seem there were nearly no queer kids at my school? Why did everyone tell me I was lucky to be skinny or, worse, assume I had an eating disorder? It is because my generation expected women to look a certain way, act a certain way, and stay out of certain pursuits. It is because kids feared for their safety if they even hinted at the idea they might be different. I think because of what we grew up with many of my peers swore to work hard to change things so this generation could have it a little better. We succeeded to a point. 

   These days I love seeing characters like Rey in Star Wars: The Force Awakens leading franchises as their main character. People keep trying to say that people would not watch movies or TV shows with a female or minority lead. That is false. Look at Star Wars VII with its three lead characters being a woman and two men of color, one of which is canonically homosexual. Look at shows like K.C. Undercover on Disney with Zendaya Coleman at the helm as a character who is strong, but still flawed, and her own type of person. This alone gives me hope. 

   On top of all this, there are young 'celebrities' who are stepping out and claiming their identities and defining them their own way allowing room for the growth that will come as they grow older. Young women like Amandla Stenberg and Rowan Blanchard who are schooling older feminists in intersectionality while also exploring their own identities as queer women. Something I love is how each these two young women did not make a big deal about who they are, they just are. Rowan defined queer for her to mean not labeling sexuality, just existing. I think that is perfect. It is something that I think is what you should be allowed to do as you grow through life. People are ranting that these young women are too young to know anything about these things. That they do not understand what they are talking about. Guess what, they have time to grow and they seem to understand a lot of this stuff better than older people do. 

   I will love watching as this continues and young people take the lead of these fantastic characters and people and define themselves rather than allowing others to do it for them. I want the next generation and the next to feel less of the pressure to conform to anyone's standards but their own. I want there to be a day where that pressure is gone for good. 

Mark Warner Never Betrayed My Virginia

 This morning I woke up to a call from my mom who lives in Suffok, VA. It was 7:45am and she knows I don't like to see daylight before 9 or 10am so I knew she was calling for a reason. She told me that she had seen a peculiar sign on the way to work. It declared "MARK WARNER HAS BETRAYED VIRGINIA." My mom was obviously confused as to why someone would decide to post such a sign after Warner was re-elected this year. But I know why. 

   The last couple years have not been great for Virginia Republicans. First, they lose a presidential and senate race in 2012 and, then in 2013, they get shutout of the Statewide offices. I get it. This is all new to them. This year they fought hard to regain some sort of control and they lost, but just barely. 

   Let me explain something though. Virginia Democrats are some of the most devoted public servants I have had the honor to work for or meet. They have not "betrayed" Virginia in any way. If anything, Virginia Republicans have done that time and again. This person that posted that sign must not know what Virginia really looks like. So let me give you an idea of the Virginia I have lived in nearly my entire life.

   My Virginia starts in Hampton Roads with Navy bases, traffic, and hundreds of thousands of people packed into 7 cities. These hundreds of thousands of people are of every race, religion, sexual orientation, gender identity, and socioeconomic class. Other than NoVA, it is probably the most integrated part of the state in both mentality and geographic set-up. It still has its problems, but it is getting there. Hampton Roads is resoundingly democratic, sans Virginia Beach which is more 50/50. My Virginia then moves to the Roanoke Valley with mountains, long winding roads, high school football, and far fewer people. Going to middle and high school in Salem, VA was an interesting experience for this city girl. The diversity I was so used to was nearly nonexistent and the segregation of races, religions, and so forth was glaringly obvious to me as an outsider. There are not as many democrats out there, but my generation is changing that I feel. My Virginia finally moves to Northern Virginia with its hyperdiversity, prosperity, and millions of people. What I love most about living in NoVA is going to the store and hearing any manner of language as you walk around. I love that I live 20 minutes from a beautiful Sikh temple with a golden dome. That my neighbors are African Muslims who immigrated to the United States rather recently.

   My Virginia is not narrow. It is a canvass that holds every color of the rainbow and more on it. 

   So when I hear people say that Mark Warner or Tim Kaine or Terry McAuliffe betrayed Virginia, I am confused. What Virginia are you looking at? Is your Virginia filled with White, Middle Aged Men? Because mine isn't. 

   I have never had the pleasure to work or even volunteer for any of Mark Warner's campaigns, but I have met him a handful of times in my travels. He is, by far, one of the most dedicated public servants in the country. He does everything for Virginians. From his Governorship to his time as Senator he has fought for us. For our military bases, our veterans, our teachers, our children, everyone. He sometimes even waxes a bit too moderate for me because he works for Virginians as a whole. I remember the first time I saw him in person. He was with Tim Kaine when he announced his candidacy for Governor back in 2005. I remember little 14 year old me having no idea who Tim was, but knowing that the guy to his right was Mark Warner aka the best Governor Virginia had ever seen. I was in awe of him and to this day I carry a deep respect for him. 

   As of late, it has become common place to disrespect Democratic leaders. Barack Obama may be President, but I have never seen a President put up with such blatant obstruction and crap in my lifetime or in history. Not too long ago, Mark Warner was the Republican's Democrat. He still has more Republican endorsements than his Republican opponents from time to time. This year, he's "betraying" Virginians. I don't get it. Nothing about him has changed. But something about the Republican Party in Virginia has and I don't like it. I won't respect this direction it is taking. Because believe it or not there are republicans I respect, but if this is the way of the VAGOP, then I bid them adieu and will personally see to it that they never win a statewide race again so long as I reside in Virginia.

And They Fall Like Dominos

   I know I'm about a week late on posting this, but last week was long and hard and tiring. A lot happened and I just didn't think this post would fit well with the other things going on in my piece of the world. But it is time and I'm so happy to write about it. 

   Last week, on Monday at 1pm, my home state, Virginia, hosted its first same sex marriages after the Ban was struck down in federal courts. This is SO important. Let me give some detail. 

   On Monday, October 6th, the Supreme Court refused to hear cases in 5 states, including Virginia, pertaining to Same-Sex Marriage Bans, thus upholding the decisions of the lower courts. Those five states immediately were allowed to hold Same-Sex marriages. My Attorney General, Mark Herring, whom I helped elect last year, announced that the Commonwealth of Virginia would begin providing Same-Sex Marriage Certificates and holding the marriages with Justices of the Peace at 1pm that same day. That. SAME. DAY. I have never been so proud to be a Virginian and to have worked tirelessly to make sure than Governor McAuliffe, Lieutenant Governor Northam, and Attorney General Herring were elected. This is what I fought for. Equality of all people in my state. 

   This has not been an easy battle, you see. I was alive when the Same-Sex Marriage Ban was made stricter and stricter as an amendment to the Commonwealth of Virginia's Constitution. The initial amendment in 1975 the Commonwealth of Virginia prohibited the marriage of same sex individuals. In 1997, the Virginia General Assembly banned the recognition of same-sex marriages from other jurisdictions and blocked access to benefits awarded married couples. In 2004, the Virginia General Assembly went a step further and banned civil unions and the like between same-sex couples including private contracts. As you can see, Virginia hasn't been on the right side of history for a long time. 

   On July 18, 2013, Bostic v. Schaefer was filed challenging the same-sex marriage ban in the US District Court for the Eastern District of Virginia. This case initially involved one male gay couple, though not to much later a lesbian couple joined in a plantiffs on the case. Attorney General Herring refused to defend the Ban on his Inauguration into office in January. On February 13, 2014, Judge Wright Allen in Norfolk, VA ruled that the statutory and constitutional ban on same-sex marriage in Virginia was unconstitutional. The Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals upheld this decision on July 28th in favor of striking down the ban entirely. So with the Supreme Court's refusal to hear the appeal on October 6th, the ban was struck down and Virginia, finally, found itself on the right side of history. 

   This is SO important. Because the Supreme Court's refusal to hear the cases cleared a path for nearly 30 other states to strike down their own same-sex marriage bans. THIS IS HUGE. Since the decision these bans have been falling like dominos throughout the country. 

   That first day I knew people who got married after decades of commitment to each other. I saw their picture show up on Equality Virginia's facebook and I cried of happiness for them. No Love is Less Important than another. Love is Equal. 

   Let me share a story from the Campaign Trail last year. I was working in Norfolk for the Democratic Coordinated Campaign. I happened to be in the office when this lovely gay couple came in. They were not originally from Virginia and had moved to the Ghent neighborhood in Norfolk from New York. One of the men was very happy to see the work we were doing and very supportive. The other could not see how any of it would make a difference. His marriage was not recognized here and he did not think it would be anytime soon. I tried so hard to explain to him that this year was different. That I felt that these men could change the tide in Virginia. That Virginia was on the cusp of a dramatic shift. He appreciated my optimism, but was still very doubtful, but did say he would vote for the democrats come November. That was all I could ask. I hope that he and his husband see now that Virginia is worth fighting for. He inspired me. I could not let this be his reality. 

   So I fought. I am still fighting. And I will not stop fighting until equality is not a luxury or privilege, but a right. You should too. Because no one deserves to feel like a second class citizen for any reason.

Liberal Arts Colleges Aren't Special Snowflakes

   Okay. I am back again, talking about things I NEVER thought I would have to address in relation to my own school. This case has blown up and understandably so. But the direction it is taking on campus disappoints me so much. I never thought in a million years I would have to say the things I am about to say to my classmates, fellow alumni, or administrators.

   First and foremost, Small Private Liberal Arts Colleges are NOT special snowflakes in their little protective bubble from the rest of the world's problems. They have the same problems and suffer from the same issues and faults. I LOVED going to a SPLAC. It was perfect for me, but never once did I think there might not be problems at Virginia Wesleyan. I knew there were very typical college problems there from Day One. I, luckily, avoided a lot of those problems and helped my own friends and sisters and freshmen avoid them to. 

   Second, Rape is an epidemic in our society and, specifically in colleges here in the United States. VWC didn't get a pass from that. I've heard stories, comforted friends, and been warned against certain groups and individuals since my first day of Orientation nearly 7 years ago. Guess what. It is REAL. It is TRAUMATIZING. And VWC SCREWED UP. 

   Did you know that you are mostly likely to be raped by someone you know? Did you know that rape often happens when the acting party has some sort of power over the other person? Do these things sound familiar to you? 

   This is our exact situation. Virginia Wesleyan boasts roughly 1500 students maximum. That's tiny. You are probably a lot like I was when I went there. You know just about everyone on campus. There are your friends/sisters/brothers, your fellow majors, your classmates, and that kid you can't remember the name of but you've had class with them so much you feel obligated to wave at them. I LOVE that about our community, but there are a LOT of people you know. (Edit: It seems I jumped the gun. He was not her Peer Advisor. She was invited to the party by her Peer advisor though.) This kid was a Lacrosse Player, but more importantly he was a Peer Advisor, her Peer Advisor. You trust your peer advisor with so much because they helped you get acclimated to this new world called college. The next step to adulthood. He BROKE that trust. As someone who peer advised and bent over backwards to make sure my freshmen made it, going so far as to check in on them throughout their career until their graduation even after I graduated, I am offended and heartbroken that this person could bring himself to take advantage of one of his students. 

   Third, Rape is not an accident. It is not a mistake. You don't trip and fall into someone's genitalia repeatedly. When a rape occurs a person is ACTIVELY making the decision to take advantage of someone. Be it through manipulation, force, or the like, they are making that decision and they are aware of it. They are deciding that it is OKAY for them to do this and that is completely UNACCEPTABLE. You know why it is unacceptable? Because he is still out there at another college and he has made the decision once that it is okay to force himself on a young woman and harm her. Because the women at his new school do not know that he is dangerous (he is dangerous). BECAUSE HE COULD DO THIS AGAIN TO ANOTHER WOMAN AND ANOTHER AND ANOTHER AND NEVER EVER SEE CONSEQUENCES FOR IT. He never learned that what he did was wrong because he just transfered and started fresh somewhere. He probably still plays Lacrosse and parties too much, while 'Jane Doe' lives with the emotional and physical destruction he has caused her for the rest of her life. 

   Which brings me to my last point. If you are saying that this did not happen and she is lying, YOU are part of the problem. If you think that what the schools did was enough and she should 'let it go,' YOU are part of the problem. If you have said at any point 'boys will be boys,' YOU are part of the problem. If you think that this girl who was victimized is stupid for suing or has no reason to, YOU are part of the problem. 

   Don't be a part of the problem. Be a part of the solution. Stand Up. STAND TOGETHER.

   Marlins, Be Better. Do Better. Make Change. Show the world what I already know, that you are a phenomenal community that can lead the way to a safer space for everyone.

I Stand By Jane Doe and I Am Virginia Wesleyan

   Let me start by explaining the situation. A couple days ago it came to light that my college, Virginia Wesleyan College, in Norfolk, VA was being sued by a former student for negligence of a sexual assault case on campus. The young woman, referred to as Jane Doe to protect her identity, was a new student in Fall 2012 and was lured by her Peer Adivsor (a lacrosse player) to a lacrosse party. She was then drugged and raped. On her way back to her dorm, she was seen by a security guard, who did nothing though her shorts were bloody and she was distressed. She reported the incident to the administration at VWC and they found the Lacrosse player guilty of sexual assault and originally Expelled him. Later, they decided to un-expel him and allow him to voluntarily withdraw so he could transfer to another institution. AND THERE, MY FRIENDS, IS THE GROSS MISHANDLING OF THE SITUATION. 

   Let me tell you something about my school. At my Freshman Orientation, I was lucky to become friends with upperclassmen who had my back. I was told to NEVER go to a Lacrosse party because they were known to drug and sexually assault women. SEVEN YEARS AGO, we knew this and upperclassmen actively informed as many freshmen girls as possible. They weren't the only team I was warned against. I continued the practice when I was a peer advisor every year after, even after I graduated I would tell freshmen girls what groups to avoid on campus. 

   Here's the thing, this is not something that has only happened at Virginia Wesleyan College. This is a trend across our nation in universities and colleges, big and small, public and private. Lately, it has come to glaring light that women are not safe on their campuses because we teach girls to be safer rather than boys to not rape. Columbia, Hobart, William, and Smith, Virginia Tech, JMU, GMU, NYU, UCSB, UGA, Auburn, VCU, UVA. This happens everywhere. There needs to be a change. 

   So let me tell you what Virginia Wesleyan is to me because I feel that it is being lost in this debate.

Our Gorgeous Campus

   VWC is not its administration. 

A Picture of me from Senior Year, Fall 2011

   I am Virginia Wesleyan. I am a member of Phi Sigma Sigma Fraternity, Inc. I was President of Pi Sigma Alpha Political Honor Society and Equality Alliance. I was a Senior Senator on SGA. I was a tutor and peer advisor. A friend. A sister. I found myself at Virginia Wesleyan and I know many of you have too. 

Bid Day 2009

   Virginia Wesleyan is home. It is the students, the professors, the Greeks, the athletes, the clubs, the Batten Center, the Caf, the Grille, Clarke, Blocker, Mud Games, Airband, Homecoming, Greek Games, Basketball season, ODAC Champions. It is the community, the family, the culture we have made. We are the Marlins. We Bleed Blue and White. 

One of the many Basketball Games we all adore.

   What we need to take from this is that WE must be better. WE, as Marlins, can make VWC better. WE must hold people accountable and make the changes we know need to be made. WE can be the example for all the other colleges and universities that are dealing with the same problems. 

   STAND UP and Be Better. STAND TOGETHER and Make Our Community and College Better.

   Because Virginia Wesleyan is so precious to each one of us and it deserves that WE do what needs to be done to help it reach its full and real potential as a college and as Our Home. 

Have Some Sense Will Ya?

   I really didn't want to write a piece about this because I REALLY hoped that people would have some sense. I really wanted to believe that they would see how crazy they look and cease and desist the idiocy...but they didn't. If anything it has gotten worse. I am sure you would like to know what I am talking about, right? 

   I am talking about the recent rash of people taking SEMI-AUTOMATIC RIFLES into places like Chipotle and Target to assert their Second Amendment rights and scare the crap out of their neighbors. Not only do I think that this is quite possibly the stupidest thing I have ever heard of, but it is also the SCARIEST thing I have ever heard of. 

Gun Rights Enthusiasts at the Target...

   So let me explain what has been going on if you haven't heard. The past few months have seen a rash of 'protests' and 'demonstrations' where people show up to places like Chipotle (this was when I first heard about it) and Target (just found out about this) with the BIGGEST gun they own, normally a semi-automatic rifle or a shotgun, and go in and act like it's completely normal to have something that deadly strapped to their back. People's reaction to these people walking in has been what one would expect, panic and confusion. Normally, when someone walks in with a gun things are about to suck really bad for you. When asked to leave in some cases these people have put up a fuss, but never pulled their gun on anyone (thank GOD). Though someone did leave a LOADED HANDGUN IN THE TOY SECTION at a Target in South Carolina.

   My first question is: How do they NOT see how insane this makes them look? How do you sit there and think 'you know what I'm going to take my gun with me to the Target and it's going to be awesome. No one will freak out at all.'?

   My second question is: WHY THE HELL DO YOU NEED A SEMI-AUTOMATIC RIFLE OR SHOTGUN AT THE STORE? Why? Are there guerilla soldiers hiding in the cosmetics department? Are there deer foraging in the juniors' clothes section? NO, there are not. So why in the hell do you need it?

   So maybe you do think that no one will freak out or that there are guerilla soldiers hiding in cosmetics, let me explain what is going through the mind of every employee and every unarmed customer in the store you are at though. 

*Spots Giant Gun on person's back as they walk in the store*

"Oh God. They are going to shoot everyone. Oh God. I'm going to die today."

*Likely followed with a lot of screaming and running*

   First and foremost, you will look crazy and like you are about to be the next mass shooter.

   Second, when people catch on to what you are actually doing, you look like an idiot.

   Finally, it hurts your cause more than helps it.

   I get it. You like your guns and you want to keep them. Guess what. No one is coming to take them away from you. I am from the South. I know how much people love their guns. I do not quite understand it, but hey, as long as you only use them for hunting, self defense, and target practice at a shooting range I am pretty okay with it. But when you bring your gun to a Target or a Chipotle be prepared for me to not support your right to carry it there because you are putting other people's rights in danger now and I will not stand for that.

   So have some sense. Don't look like the next mass murderer. (Especially since even the NRA has condemned these demonstrations. I mean, come on.) Also, take a look at these stats and tell me that the US does not need even a little more regulation of gun trade.

Are You Ready For Hillary?

   And so it begins...

   Today, Hillary Clinton announced that she was 'thinking' about running for President in 2016. This is the first time she has really expressed any opinion on the matter. She expertly dodged question after question since 2012 and now we get the first glimpse...and it is not much. She expressed what her friends and colleagues have been saying since 2008. Some people are taking this as a sure sign that she will be running and validation for their devotion to her candidacy, which is all fine and dandy, but she hasn't announced yet. The very idea of her running has launched thousands to begin building a campaign for her already. The Ready For Hillary organization is fundraising as we speak for a campaign we are not sure is actually going to happen. Political Organizers all over the nation are citing that as what they want to be doing in 2016, this, that, or the other position on Hillary 2016. I have even said it to be honest. 

   It is a crazy phenomenon that someone who ran 6 years ago for the Democratic nomination and lost could garner so much support without actually saying she is running. Hillary Clinton's popularity is through the roof and hitting the ground she would have some of the best staff out there begging to sign on with her for the long haul, myself among them. She has become an icon in her time as Secretary of State to the point that if she does not run I am not sure what the DNC will do. People who would be dead ringers to run have said their decision hinges on whether she runs. No one wants to stand in her way. 

Photo Credit Aria Meier - Region 6 Dry Run Data Party

   From a field perspective, I would die to work on that race. It would be one of the biggest, best funded, amazingly staffed campaigns in recent history. My personal goal for 2016 is to be a Training Director in Virginia for the Democratic nominee aka Hillary. After that I actually plan to retire my campaign shoes and move on to graduate school. The thing is Hillary 2016 has become the Golden Apple of campaigns for people who work in Field. We covet the opportunity to be a part of something so huge. The first Female President of the United States. Another Clinton in office. One of the most influential people in the world becoming the Leader of the Free World. For a lot of us it looks to be a real turning point for our country. It will be something we can look to and say "I did that and it made a difference." It will be the same feeling Field Staff had in 2008 when we elected Barack Obama, but potentially bigger. 

   I am not going to be foolish and say that Hillary Clinton is perfect. She is not. No one is. But I really do think she could be the "hero Gotham needs right now" to quote the Dark Knight. Things are changing here in the United States and it's looking like the Democrats are starting to come out on top after a good long fight. We have changed the playing field and really honed our skills. We are ahead of the game. For someone like me it is an exciting time for be a political organizer because things are on the move. States are shifting. Look at Virginia, all 5 statewide offices held by Democrats, a Democratic State Senate, and increased movement on important issues. 

   So I will be honest and say I REALLY hope Hillary decides to run because it will be insane and epic and life changing. But I am not going to assume anything until 2015 when people start declaring.

   I'm Ready For Hillary, Are You?